Four years later ...
August 28th marked Nicholas' four year mark in Canada and our four year
anniversary as a completed family. Where does the time go??!!! In some
ways, it seems just like yesterday that we brought our wonderful little
boy home and in other ways, it is hard to imagine our family without
him.
It is difficult to know where to start in talking about the changes
in Nicholas and measuring his progress. His physical growth is perhaps
the easiest to measure. From a relatively tiny 25 lb three and a half
year old in August of 2006, he has just hit the 50 lb mark and he now
stands 47 inches tall (up from 35 inches when we brought him home).
From a toddler in diapers and a little boy with a very limited diet,
Nicholas now goes to the bathroom on his own and, typical of many little
boys his age, he is constantly asking to go to "Old McDonalds"
for french fries and chocolate milk. The days of soaking bread in warm
milk and the daily ritual of pureeing everything are distant memories.
His diet is quite varied but pizza and pasta are definite favourites!
He is not overly fond of vegetables, ice-cream and popsicles are too
cold and he really doesn't like sandwiches!
But as much as Nicholas has grown physically, the emotional and intellectual
development have been phenominal! Developmental delays are common in
children living in institutions and even though Nicholas was over three,
he was not speaking at all when we brought him home. I can still remember
the first time in the fall of 2006 that he made the sound "p".
Kaylee looked at me and I looked at her both wanting to make sure that
we had actually heard it! Now .... he is talking a mile a minute and
his speech is pretty much age appropriate! Typical words of late are
"that's gross", "oh my goodness", " ewwwwww,
yuk!", that's cute, cool, awesome, .... " and recently when
we were taking a different route to go to his cousins house, he told
Daddy "we are going the wrong way, trust me, trust me ...".
His adpatation to his new family and new home is also pretty incredible.
He is totally attached to Dan, Kaylee and I and we all love him very
dearly. Just last week he told my brother that he couldn't go home with
him because "I belong to my family. I would miss them". He
looks to us for praise when he does something he is proud of and comes
to one of us for comfort when he gets hurt.
Nicholas' play skills and imagination have also improved. His love for
cars, planes and other vehicles continues and it is so much fun to hear
him playing .... filling the cars with gas, washing them, putting them
under "tarps" to protect them from rain and having his pilots
drive his planes to Toronto, New Brunswick, Texas or various other destinations.
He has a love for dinosaurs and pretending to be a TRex is common these
days. One of his latest loves is pretending we are going camping. This
involves air matresses, sleeping bags, pillows, etc. all in the comfort
of our newly renovated basement! I have to admit that it is a pretty
comfy camping situation .... no bugs, safe from rain, the kitchen is
upstairs and the bathroom is down the hall. One of our latest camp nights
saw Kaylee on the air matrress beside me and Nicholas holding my hand
on the other side. Daddy had the bed upstairs all to himself! The next
night was Daddy's turn to camp out and Mommy got the comfy bed to herself!!
Lots of fun and lots of memories!
Nicholas now swims like a little fish (a far cry from the screams we
got when we put him in the bath tub the first few times), he runs and
jumps, has seemingly very good hand eye co-ordination (you should see
him hit a baseball) and is learning to ride his bicycle. When I took
him to get his hair cut last week, he was very proud to tell the hairdresser
that he is joining his sister's swim team this fall! There is no more
fear climbing the jungle jim at the park or going down the slide. Four
years ago every new place brought screams and tears from Nicholas. The
park, the church, the grocery store and Kaylee's school were all scary
places. Now, he asks "what are we going to do today?" and
loves to be active. He has been on a plane, a train, a bus, a boat,
a seadoo, a ski-doo, a canoe, a four-wheeler and this summer, he was
able to paddle a kayak all on his own. It was so cute to watch him paddling
... it didn't take long for him to learn how to turn it. He is certainly
a very smart little boy!
Speaking of being smart, Nicholas was very pleased (as were we) with
the A's and B's he got on his report card in June. He is learning to
read (loves sounding words out!), doing addition and subtraction and
his teachers last year told us that he was in the upper one-third of
his class in terms of academics. He loves learning about the planets,
about dinosaurs and various other science-related subjects. He is learning
French at school and we have seen big improvements in his French speaking
and comprehension over the last school year.
Yes, the progress has been very encouraging. But ... I would be lying
if I said it has all been easy. We have worried, worried some more and
have lost sleep. We have shed a few tears ... especially when the reports
from his doctors and therapists were not what we wanted to hear. What
parent wants to hear that their child "is severely delayed"?
Would our little boy learn to talk? Would he be o.k.? There have been
feelings of guilt when patience was a little thin and we were perhaps
more harsh than we would have liked. And of course, we always questioned
whether we were doing enough or if we should be doing something differently.
He has had more therapy sessions than I can begin to count ... speech
therapy, occupational therapy, sensory therapy, group therapy to work
on social skills ... at one point we were doubling up on the speech
therapy to try to push him a long a little faster. We have volunteered
in all the activities he has been in .... everything from being a Sunday
School teacher to a soccer coach to a Beaver leader. Thankfully, he
has responded well and thankfully Dan and I have had the financial resources
to be able to offer him the help he needed. We are truly blessed.
News of our family wouldn't be complete without mention of Kaylee. She
is such a wonderful big sister. It is hard to believe that she is in
Grade 7 this year. The teen years are just around the corner! She is
a sweet little girl .... loving and giving. She works hard in school
and keeps very busy with swimming, dancing and piano. We are indeed,
very proud of her. She and Nicholas are great playmates and Kaylee can
often be heard playing the role of teacher.
When we brought Nicholas home, Elena asked if she could put one of the
e-mails I had written to family and friends describing our trip to Bulgatria
up on the Loving Heart Adoption Agency website. Elena has now asked
me to write this update for her website. I am always happy to share
our experiences with the hope that they may be helpful to other families
who are just starting their adoption journey. In writing this, I have
tried to capture the absolute joy that Nicholas is bringing to us and
our true amazement of how well he has done adjusting to his new family
and new home. I hope that been successfuI in portraying this! Adoption
has been a wonderful way to complete our family. Nicholas is so special
and we love him very, very much. He has brought much happiness to our
family and he has shown us that hard work can pay off. We have all worked
very hard to help him "catch-up" to his peer group and we
continue to work on his social skills and his sensory issues.
I once read the following: "A hundred years from now, no one will
remember how much money you had in the bank, what kind of car you drove
or what kind of job you had, but the world might be different because
you made a difference in the life of a child." We hope we are making
a difference in Nicholas' life. He is certainly enriching ours. We are
so thankful that God chose us to be parents to this dear little boy.
His little smile warms our hearts each and every day! God bless you
Nicholas and bless us as we continue to grow as a family!
xoxoxoxo
Karen, Dan, Kaylee & Nicholas
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